The wise learn from their mistakes

I'm not sure if it's been said exactly in that manner, but I'm definitely paraphrasing an old idea that is so relevant to all of us.

I guess one of the more important words in this sentence is 'mistake'.

What is a mistake?

Of course, it's something we've done wrong

- but what constitutes the content in the mistake... where is the wrongness?

I guess my short answer is, wherever the action has led to an unnecessary harm...

all these of course, are hard to say for certain without knowledge of the future. Because a certain harm caused now may be seen as having been fortuitous in the future. Many times we've looked back and recognized that ah yes, things have happened for the best, even though at that time... we were completely dreading it.

I'm not about to define for you what for certain is a mistake, but to outline the simpler and more common mistakes.

A very common mistake made is when we give ourselves fully and freely to others, with little regard for their character

this act of youthful foolishness causes a great pain for all who commit it. For certain there have been those who either abused this act of love or who have overlooked it...

and the rawness of this open-hearted pain is just so much, too much to bear

and so learning from this experience

many decide not to trust again

Of course this act is not an isolated act.

Soon after recovery, we decide to trust somewhat fully

and then another one comes to throw this trust away

After several incidences, many learn

to simply stop trusting.

And that, is the hidden mistake.

Well, hidden for people like me. To others, they don't commit this mistake and thus it isn't hidden.

But for people like me, the lesson that we learned to protect ourselves was taken too far, and thus becomes at worst a self-sabotaging mechanism, and at best a hindrance to our goals. For what are we on earth, except to truly get to know, appreciate, and even love one another...

...

In the end, what is recommended is a calm attentiveness to our actions, a gentle self-reflection of our thoughts.

Reflecting on your thoughts is hard.

Because you are thinking, and just say you are thinking about pain.

You tend to go on and on about that pain, and what caused it, and what you should do. This is not calm, usually this is attended by with rage or anxiety. It only prolongs that pina.

But to actually stop, and look at what you are saying to yourself, how it reflects what you think and feel about the world and the others around you... What you think others think of you.

Are all these things true?

Is there not some chance that you are actually exaggerating this because well, you've been so used to exaggerating and so used to criticizing yourself and well... it's hard to catch what you've grown up with all your life...

Anyway this isn't as short a blog as I wanted

but slightly detached analysis upon analysis upon your thoughts and feelings can lead to some productive changes to your 'stagnant' way of being.

And I suggest that whatever clarity derived from actions like this should not end up with a manic-like joy into which you base your entire life actions on, but a soft and subtle epiphany, which should always be there to gently remind you the next time around... else you may end up head-first into another mistake

but then again, that might deprive you of another learning experience! Yet experience suggests mistake after mistake is hardly healthy for the soul, so enjoy your successes and be humane towards yourself!