Ah, the sound of summer rain.
And the cool air wafts through my windows to ease the frustrating heat.
Cars go by and one can hear those refreshing swoosh/splash sounds
Even the light thunder is soothing to my ears...
I feel surrounded, touched, cooled... even sexy in this kind of weather.
Anyway, I don't know what is happening, but lately I haven't been feeling Korea. I don't feel like going back. Why?
1) Language barrier - and subsequent snide remarks about being of Korean-blood while not being able to speak the language
2) Leaving friends behind for another year. Something in me wants to save or salvage past friendships. I don't want to meet people and never see them again. I don't want old friendships to die.
3) Leaving family - as with the last point, I just don't want to go off somewhere... relationship with my parents is a bit weird, I'd like to repair it a bit.
4) I need a job in which I can use a reference. I don't think hagwons in Korea would make it to the reference list.
Also, I've lost that blind love of the land.
I've accepted Canada as my home. And while I tried to straddle the line, being proud of my Korean-Canadian identity, I'm seeing less use for my Korean identity now. I guess I've been indoctrinated with Canadian/Western values.
Being exposed to different races, more often than not, I find myself liking them more than my Korean friends...
I've also been turned off from nationalism by seeing nationalism in action. Two words for it: brutish and ugly
It has led to war and the sacrifice of youth, and more generally the bullying of other races, leading to exclusion and closed-mindedness.
I'm not excluding myself from being Korean-Canadian, but the tone of it is different.
I will still fondly recall the times my grandmother made myuk-guk for me on my birthdays, still fantasize about the Korean war and Korean food, and reminisce about the times I used to learn Korean from this cute block-set my parents bought me...
But I'll know that I'm not bound within this label. That really I'm just a real woman in Canada, and being Korean is only a part of my identity, not the defining characteristic.
And the cool air wafts through my windows to ease the frustrating heat.
Cars go by and one can hear those refreshing swoosh/splash sounds
Even the light thunder is soothing to my ears...
I feel surrounded, touched, cooled... even sexy in this kind of weather.
Anyway, I don't know what is happening, but lately I haven't been feeling Korea. I don't feel like going back. Why?
1) Language barrier - and subsequent snide remarks about being of Korean-blood while not being able to speak the language
2) Leaving friends behind for another year. Something in me wants to save or salvage past friendships. I don't want to meet people and never see them again. I don't want old friendships to die.
3) Leaving family - as with the last point, I just don't want to go off somewhere... relationship with my parents is a bit weird, I'd like to repair it a bit.
4) I need a job in which I can use a reference. I don't think hagwons in Korea would make it to the reference list.
Also, I've lost that blind love of the land.
I've accepted Canada as my home. And while I tried to straddle the line, being proud of my Korean-Canadian identity, I'm seeing less use for my Korean identity now. I guess I've been indoctrinated with Canadian/Western values.
Being exposed to different races, more often than not, I find myself liking them more than my Korean friends...
I've also been turned off from nationalism by seeing nationalism in action. Two words for it: brutish and ugly
It has led to war and the sacrifice of youth, and more generally the bullying of other races, leading to exclusion and closed-mindedness.
I'm not excluding myself from being Korean-Canadian, but the tone of it is different.
I will still fondly recall the times my grandmother made myuk-guk for me on my birthdays, still fantasize about the Korean war and Korean food, and reminisce about the times I used to learn Korean from this cute block-set my parents bought me...
But I'll know that I'm not bound within this label. That really I'm just a real woman in Canada, and being Korean is only a part of my identity, not the defining characteristic.
1 comment:
Hey, assuming it doesn't "rain" tomorrow, do you want to hit up Bomber?
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