Man, so the life situation is getting better than ever.
Who knew I would love the working world?
Well, it's not that I LOVE my work place, I enjoy it for the most part... but the parts that get to me most are accomplishing something daily, having no homework, and with having no homework - being able to devote to friends, family, and other joys.
Oh that and being in Toronto.
I realize... I need to live in a city of at least 2 million.
At least!
But ya I love the luxury of having extra cash. Not that I make so much. But today I got to take out my family for food and a little bit of drinking and it was really good.
I think I'll make it a bi-monthly thing.
I was getting tired of retail therapy anyway.
It's true. I've tried to be fashionable, and it lasted a good week of non-stop shopping, but really there's only so much you need.
Like the gains from the first few items were great - I was just like whopee, I want to buy everything. But after awhile, the feeling I got lessened - decreasing returns-to-scale in a dramatic way.
And it's not like I'm restrained by this feeling of guilt, I just don't have a strong interest in clothes.
I want to look comfortably pretty, not stunning or impecable.
Just not something I aim for. (unless of course, it's a special occasion... I'm dressing up more)
Which reminds me - guys only pick me up when I'm with my friends. And this is not because they are picking up my friends and I'm just there. I think that guys are attracted by me in motion.
It's true, when I'm just standing still - I can't say I'm gorgeous. I probably look tired with my slightly downward slanting eyes and unfeminine jaw line.
But when I get animated and start smiling, well I guess that's my strong point when it comes to guys. Guys aren't actually completely vain.
I just thought that was a neat thing.
Do I wish I were prettier? Of course. I could tell you just what I don't like about me, and I quip to Xiaodi that I'd like to get surgery.
But for the most part, I'm happy with what I've been given and strive to gently refine my looks, my brains, and my spirit (oh and my health).
And yes, here in Toronto, it's all happening. Oh yea.
Friday, September 21, 2007
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
I keep forgetting to blog.
Well how are we here. I've had a 360 from the last time I've blogged.
Had a nasty client who told me that she "doesn't have time for me" and abruptly hung up.
This is what happened.
She, the office manager of a law firm, is supposed to enter some information, and send it to me. Somehow she sent me the wrong information.
As I read it back to her, she got angry thinking that I had gotten it wrong. Of course, at that point, I wasn't sure that she was the one who had made the mistake.
I told her I'd call her back once I'd figured everything out.
I get someone to call her back - and we find that she has to uninstall some program - and they direct her to me! I am not responsible for uninstalling of programs, tech support is, but I still get the call dumped on me.
So as I talk to her, I am hesitating to talk - and then she yelled at me and hung up.
I was so angry. Honestly, I wanted to tell her she must be mad at the world because she was born an idiot, and she's taking her anger out on me - who was trying to help her.
But of course, I didn't. In the end I calmed down but geez, the nerve of some people.
I'm thinking I'm gonna come out of the working world with some thicker skin.
It'll be good for me.
I did talk to the sweetest person - calling from Washington University law school - top 10 law school - and man this woman was just so enthusiastic and nice. School admin == love their job, Office manager of a law firm == not so much love their job? It was a good note to end the day.
In the meantime, I have to do things I love - so I checked out 'eastern promises' with my friend. Let me just say now, I love Viggo Mortenson! Or however you spell his name. But wow... that was some sexy character he portrayed.
I'm going to go on a retreat this weekend, involved with raising awareness for North Korea. I'll tell you how that goes.
See ya.
Well how are we here. I've had a 360 from the last time I've blogged.
Had a nasty client who told me that she "doesn't have time for me" and abruptly hung up.
This is what happened.
She, the office manager of a law firm, is supposed to enter some information, and send it to me. Somehow she sent me the wrong information.
As I read it back to her, she got angry thinking that I had gotten it wrong. Of course, at that point, I wasn't sure that she was the one who had made the mistake.
I told her I'd call her back once I'd figured everything out.
I get someone to call her back - and we find that she has to uninstall some program - and they direct her to me! I am not responsible for uninstalling of programs, tech support is, but I still get the call dumped on me.
So as I talk to her, I am hesitating to talk - and then she yelled at me and hung up.
I was so angry. Honestly, I wanted to tell her she must be mad at the world because she was born an idiot, and she's taking her anger out on me - who was trying to help her.
But of course, I didn't. In the end I calmed down but geez, the nerve of some people.
I'm thinking I'm gonna come out of the working world with some thicker skin.
It'll be good for me.
I did talk to the sweetest person - calling from Washington University law school - top 10 law school - and man this woman was just so enthusiastic and nice. School admin == love their job, Office manager of a law firm == not so much love their job? It was a good note to end the day.
In the meantime, I have to do things I love - so I checked out 'eastern promises' with my friend. Let me just say now, I love Viggo Mortenson! Or however you spell his name. But wow... that was some sexy character he portrayed.
I'm going to go on a retreat this weekend, involved with raising awareness for North Korea. I'll tell you how that goes.
See ya.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
So I missed blogging yesterday
but I had a very bad day yesterday.
As it happens, after work - I am completely drained. I cannot care properly about anything for 2 hours after work. That I must give my attention to small details for 8 hours (sometimes more because I want to make a good impression), just completely drains me.
I don't know if all workers feel like this - or it is just the consequences of a bad fit for the job.
I'm beginning to be wary of becoming a lawyer.
Anyway, so I'm drained, a bit cranky.
I went to the mall to wait for Xiaodi, and I went to Zara to try on a skirt for work.
There, waiting in line - it came to my turn. There was a room free - but the people who worked there weren't paying attention and kept folding their clothes for some time.
I was getting impatient and finally interrupted them and said 'can I go into that room'?
And the girl just said 'no you can't' in a hostile voice. And then her friend/co-worker began to laugh.
I was friggin mortified. I flung the skirt on their pile and I left.
How... could their service be so bad? How could she just snap at that? How could the other laugh? It was just so beyond unprofessional - it was just... I don't know what to say.
And at the worst time. If I had not just gotten off 9 hours of work, I could have handled it better. But at this stage I was just angered, frozen and in the end just miserably depressed at the world.
And I thought - is this what work is creating in us?
For me it was stress and fragility
for her it was creating her to be the biggest bitch (she should really be fired, and perhaps it would be best for her).
I really would like to know - is this how all working people feel?
but I had a very bad day yesterday.
As it happens, after work - I am completely drained. I cannot care properly about anything for 2 hours after work. That I must give my attention to small details for 8 hours (sometimes more because I want to make a good impression), just completely drains me.
I don't know if all workers feel like this - or it is just the consequences of a bad fit for the job.
I'm beginning to be wary of becoming a lawyer.
Anyway, so I'm drained, a bit cranky.
I went to the mall to wait for Xiaodi, and I went to Zara to try on a skirt for work.
There, waiting in line - it came to my turn. There was a room free - but the people who worked there weren't paying attention and kept folding their clothes for some time.
I was getting impatient and finally interrupted them and said 'can I go into that room'?
And the girl just said 'no you can't' in a hostile voice. And then her friend/co-worker began to laugh.
I was friggin mortified. I flung the skirt on their pile and I left.
How... could their service be so bad? How could she just snap at that? How could the other laugh? It was just so beyond unprofessional - it was just... I don't know what to say.
And at the worst time. If I had not just gotten off 9 hours of work, I could have handled it better. But at this stage I was just angered, frozen and in the end just miserably depressed at the world.
And I thought - is this what work is creating in us?
For me it was stress and fragility
for her it was creating her to be the biggest bitch (she should really be fired, and perhaps it would be best for her).
I really would like to know - is this how all working people feel?
Thursday, September 13, 2007
I guess blogging's short term revival has sort of well.... needed some kind of shock jolt. So I shall attempt to blog everyday. You know, writing a journal is good for your well-being.
Well, I'm like really wanting to go somewhere.
No, and really it's not because I hate this place.
It's more that I have a thirst for engaging experience, exploration, and give me another word that starts with an e. To embrace energizing environments...
something like that.
It's much more an approach model than an avoidance one - which I mean is my motivation.
Those who approach go towards goals - to gain positive experience. Those who avoid go away from punishing or punishing situations.
Many times in life there is usually a mix of these motivations in any decision, but people tend to have orientations.
Behavioural-inhibitory system (BIS)- avoidance patterns
and behavioural-activation system (BAS) - appetitive patterns
Any psych majors in the house?
Anyway, this was a slight digression to the point that I want to travel for the sake of enjoying myself.
My job is alright, my coworkers are nice, and my family situation is getting better. It's a gentle slope up.
But it's also made me aware of previous fallacies of thought - such as the weight I'd put on the importance of job and the corresponding lack of weight I'd put on the importance of simple and deep enjoyments.
Of good conversation, music, food, and art.
Discovering this I'd also found the fallacy of believing my super emotionality as a flaw.
I mean this learning experience is just SO rewarding in itself, but I'm really discovering the world is at my fingers - and I have the right to enjoy.
-
I want to go to Iceland, Europe (Ok, Iceland's part of europe, but it's not on the continent ya know?), India, South America.
Which is a problem - because Xiaodi wants to go see Asia, in which I'm not so impressed.
--
Even though I'm like falling in love with the world again and rediscovering opportunities, it's just a bit funny that I'm working in a job for which I am overqualified and yet underpaid and understimulated.
But it has good lessons in itself. For example, I realized that I'd had a long standing complex - feeling not... like I could be accepted in an office environment. This is proving to me that an office/corporate experience is not half as daunting as I'd thought it would be.
I also had a bit of an anxiety problem before this job, and a corresponding social anxiety. This has helped me (along with the doctrine of just enjoying life) to get over my fears.
Finally I'm getting up early, learning to be more organized... things that I needed to get in my life right away.
The pay isn't that bad - but we'll see.
----
I think one thing is - I'm just so happy to be out of Waterloo. The whole homework thing hanging over your head, the ugly area, the lack of family life around the area (a pure university town), and the lack of just the great things about urban life.
Ya, homework - something you have to worry about all the time - is just not fun is it?
I like how you can work and just relax.
---
Anyway, when I talk to conservatives, 2 have told me that I've articulated the liberal's point of view better than anyone they've encountered. While this is flattering - I am worried about the state of political arguments today.
I think a lot of liberals - generally have good intentions - but aren't very... thoughtful about the whole thing. They take their doctrines for granted - as fundamental truths - that do not need explanation, only exasperation at attempts to argue it. Hey, I was like this too. I find that a lot were indoctrinated in high schools by left-wing school teachers - and these views were taken as fact.
I'd actually avoided the title of liberal because well - I don't want to be stuck in doctrine.
Anyway, I've come to my beliefs and arguments now, from what I can say are more intelligent 'liberals' than I am. So, I'm actually quite disappointed that there seems to be this divide, in which there is little exposure to ideas that oppose one's own) It's a shame that conservatives and liberals don't get more meetings of the mind.
Anyway, that's my rant for now. I hope to write more tomorrow.
Well, I'm like really wanting to go somewhere.
No, and really it's not because I hate this place.
It's more that I have a thirst for engaging experience, exploration, and give me another word that starts with an e. To embrace energizing environments...
something like that.
It's much more an approach model than an avoidance one - which I mean is my motivation.
Those who approach go towards goals - to gain positive experience. Those who avoid go away from punishing or punishing situations.
Many times in life there is usually a mix of these motivations in any decision, but people tend to have orientations.
Behavioural-inhibitory system (BIS)- avoidance patterns
and behavioural-activation system (BAS) - appetitive patterns
Any psych majors in the house?
Anyway, this was a slight digression to the point that I want to travel for the sake of enjoying myself.
My job is alright, my coworkers are nice, and my family situation is getting better. It's a gentle slope up.
But it's also made me aware of previous fallacies of thought - such as the weight I'd put on the importance of job and the corresponding lack of weight I'd put on the importance of simple and deep enjoyments.
Of good conversation, music, food, and art.
Discovering this I'd also found the fallacy of believing my super emotionality as a flaw.
I mean this learning experience is just SO rewarding in itself, but I'm really discovering the world is at my fingers - and I have the right to enjoy.
-
I want to go to Iceland, Europe (Ok, Iceland's part of europe, but it's not on the continent ya know?), India, South America.
Which is a problem - because Xiaodi wants to go see Asia, in which I'm not so impressed.
--
Even though I'm like falling in love with the world again and rediscovering opportunities, it's just a bit funny that I'm working in a job for which I am overqualified and yet underpaid and understimulated.
But it has good lessons in itself. For example, I realized that I'd had a long standing complex - feeling not... like I could be accepted in an office environment. This is proving to me that an office/corporate experience is not half as daunting as I'd thought it would be.
I also had a bit of an anxiety problem before this job, and a corresponding social anxiety. This has helped me (along with the doctrine of just enjoying life) to get over my fears.
Finally I'm getting up early, learning to be more organized... things that I needed to get in my life right away.
The pay isn't that bad - but we'll see.
----
I think one thing is - I'm just so happy to be out of Waterloo. The whole homework thing hanging over your head, the ugly area, the lack of family life around the area (a pure university town), and the lack of just the great things about urban life.
Ya, homework - something you have to worry about all the time - is just not fun is it?
I like how you can work and just relax.
---
Anyway, when I talk to conservatives, 2 have told me that I've articulated the liberal's point of view better than anyone they've encountered. While this is flattering - I am worried about the state of political arguments today.
I think a lot of liberals - generally have good intentions - but aren't very... thoughtful about the whole thing. They take their doctrines for granted - as fundamental truths - that do not need explanation, only exasperation at attempts to argue it. Hey, I was like this too. I find that a lot were indoctrinated in high schools by left-wing school teachers - and these views were taken as fact.
I'd actually avoided the title of liberal because well - I don't want to be stuck in doctrine.
Anyway, I've come to my beliefs and arguments now, from what I can say are more intelligent 'liberals' than I am. So, I'm actually quite disappointed that there seems to be this divide, in which there is little exposure to ideas that oppose one's own) It's a shame that conservatives and liberals don't get more meetings of the mind.
Anyway, that's my rant for now. I hope to write more tomorrow.
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